Santai: Bloopers from College Admission Essays

** This was copied from Bloopers from College Admission Essays – Richard Lederer that appears in Chicken Soup for the College Soul

Caught up in the hurly-burly, helter-skelter and hugger-mugger of college applications, a student aspiring to enter Bates College once wrote, “I am in the mist of choosing colleges.”

The admissions departments at Bates and Vassar Colleges have compiled a list of bloopers from their admissions essays:

• If there was a single word to describe me, that word would have to be “profectionist.”

• I was abducted into the national honor society.

• In my senior year, I am serving as writing editor of the yearbook.

• I want to be bilingual in three or more languages.

• I have made the horror role every semester.

• I want a small liberal in the northeast part of the country

• Bates is a college I can excell in.

• I am writing to tell you that I was very discouraged when I found out that I had been differed from Bates.

• I am thinking of possibly transferring to your college. I applied as an undergraduate but was weight listed

• I first was exposed through a friend who attends Vassar.

• I would love to attend a college where the foundation was built upon women

• My mother worked hard to provide me with whatever I needed in my life, a good home, a stale family and a wonderful education.

• Playing the saxophone lets me develop technique and skill which will help me in the future, since I would like to become a doctor

• Such things as divorces, separations and annulments greatly reduce the need for adultery to be committed.

• I am proud to be able to say that I have sustained from the use of drugs, alcohol and tobacco products.

• I’ve been a strong advocate of the abomination of drunk driving.

• Activities: Cook and serve homeless.

• Another activity I take personally is my church Youth Group.

• He was a modest man with an unbelievable ego.

• The worst experience that I have probably ever had to go through emotionally was when other members of PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) and I went to Pennsylvania for their annual pigeon shooting.

Now it is clear why one candidate wrote in his or her admissions essay, “I would like to see my own ignorance wither into enlightenment.”